I slept with one woman whose body was perfection and I felt like hiding under the covers around her.
I could not understand what she saw in me physically.
So, some of us may not know how to react when a woman shows interest. Don’t forget that at the core they are part woman too. Butches have a hard shell from having to fight off scornful stares and protect their hearts from hatred on all sides.
But the point is that I was more fragile than I or anyone else knew. I am not talking about the ones who have no problems engaging in your flirtation.I had numerous past lovers that became obsessed with me after sleeping with me but none of that mattered because that one girl was able to rip my self esteem to shreds with her reaction to one encounter. Many butches are confident and have no problem hitting on women and making conquests of as many women as they can bed down.I assumed she misread this as me being unsure of myself in the bedroom. I was so traumatized that I would not let a woman get close to me or even come close to making love for a year. The ones who are unable to express what it is that troubles them or makes them nervous around women are the ones I am talking about.Unfortunately she never gave me enough time to open up and be the real me because the next morning she had clearly moved on. Some years later she told me that I had read her reaction wrong and that she was actually terrified about how she had felt about me so quickly after that night so she pushed me away. Actually it was not until I met Sarah who wanted me, saw me as the dirty boi that I am (and encouraged it) that I got my mojo back. Without her I probably would still be avoiding sleeping with women. They are the sweet ones you want to reciprocate and you wonder why they can’t.The concept of asking “who is the top” has become as archaic as it is adorable in terms of overall ignorance.
Important aspects like personality and having a real connection tend to strengthen relationships more than superficial traits.By guest blogger, Raye Many butches are not used to someone wanting them. You femmes don’t realize how rare a butch-loving femme really is. Even straight women admit that they can appreciate a beautiful woman and sometimes explore their curiosity born out of sheer desire for a beautiful woman.All you see is that you can’t find any butches and you notice all the femmes in competition with you for one. No one can tell you are different until you open your mouth.Being sarcastic and hateful to someone might make you think you are amusing to your friends but really it makes you look ugly and mean. If a femme is trying her damndest to get your attention, pay attention and trust that her intentions are good. I wish the latest generation of young adults could grasp this concept. And butches, bois, soft butches, sporty dykes and others, listen up. I have some advice for the shy, guarded butches too: give her a chance. You can feel a person’s spirit if you open up and really listen to her. Guard your heart but don’t be so guarded that you leave the femme hanging on a ledge. Practice expressing yourself by talking to yourself alone in your room the way you would explain yourself to a femme. Unfortunately this means that sometimes we don’t notice the stares of loving adoration.