The scars showed, from the literal biopsy scar on my chest to the many mental scars, like being hyper-sensitive about my hair (I wore wigs for the first year, then extensions for the next six months, and both made me feel like a lying fraud).
Besides, going on dates helps you forget your past and have fun in the moment, right? In job-centric, car-happy Los Angeles, that generally means doing the online thing.So I made a profile on a free dating site that I’d rather not name for my own sanity.My family and best friends -- my main support system -- were back east.What I had in my new hometown of Los Angeles was a new group of friends, an ex, and a handful of co-workers.We would joke around a lot, but with each friendly jab, I realized I'd become a generally more sensitive person after dealing with cancer. I pulled myself away from him before anything serious could begin.
That sensitivity is why all of us cancer kids are different: We’ve got baggage that most people our age can’t understand.I wasn’t going to hide the fact that I'd recently been a cancer patient, but I wasn’t going to mention it for no reason, either.That reveal is a huge reason why cancer kids like myself are scared to date: Which date is the right one to tell someone you had cancer? I was about to answer all those questions for myself.I didn’t want someone I knew to shave their head, let alone some dude I couldn’t pick out of a lineup.In person, we ended up having zero chemistry, which didn’t help matters. Before we even met, he would send me panicked messages if I didn’t respond to his texts right away. On our first date, we had just started talking about how he hated all things Hollywood when he noticed my scar.I would have had to use words to tell CF about the cancer. The Joker and I never ran out of topics to talk about on our first date.