‘I should’ve known better because I met her in a bar,’ James says. Joshua, a Kenyan man, has mixed experiences of dating in Japan.He sometimes feels that being an African can be a disadvantage. In a club, he often meets girls who are specifically interested in African-Americans.
Group dating is a modern pattern for dating where a group of single men and a group of single women organise a night out, with the hope of forming romantic partnerships.
It is most popular in Japan, where it is known as gōkon.
When I asked him what kind of advice he would give to western guys, he said ‘Don’t find them in a bar.’ James remembers meeting a Japanese girl in an Irish pub in Tokyo. He still liked her, so he decided to give it another try. (He says that rock musicians tend to not pay attention to clothes.) She and Charles hit it off well, and they exchanged contact details. In fact, she didn’t have any interest in western culture. He got tickets for a concert of UA, her favourite Japanese artist, and asked her to come. They have now been together for one and a half years.
He dated her, but then he found out she had been cheating on him. Everything seemed fine this time, but one day, she suddenly broke up with him. Unlike other musicians, she didn’t listen to American or British music. Danuja seems to like to take time to get to know the girl first before dating her and that seems to work well with some Japanese girls.
The term gōkon comes from the Japanese words konpa (a party for members of a single group, class, or club) and gōdō ("together", "combination").
Generally speaking, gōkon are not primarily intended to result in one-night stands (something more associated with nanpa), but rather for making friends and possibly forming long-term relationships.
One day, Andre’s friend shared a photo on Facebook. Apparently, the girl had been spending time with his friend in her home town.
When Andre asked her about it, she admitted that she had kissed his friend.
Compared to the Russian women he dated, Frank finds her very accommodating.
For instance, when he wants to see a certain film, she usually goes with what he wants.
Andre talked to his friend about what had happened. It turned out that she had never had any intention of having a boyfriend: she just wanted to have sex. Kenny, a Canadian man, met a lot of Japanese women in Tokyo who showed intense interest in him. ‘When I went out to clubs, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.’ Kenny didn’t mention that he was married (to a Japanese woman) and looking for sexual intimacy that his marriage didn’t provide.