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A hookup is a single act involving sexual intimacy, and it’s supposed to be a liberating experience.

But a lot of the young men I talked to complained just as much as the women.They wished that they could be in a relationship and that they didn’t have to prove all of this stuff to their friends.Q: But if they’re missing that skill set, will this generation struggle more with intimacy?A: There are lots of students who end up in relationships, often when a hookup turns into something more.That is, for many individuals a relationship happens like this: you find someone, hookup with him/her, if it’s enjoyable it continues, and after hooking-up for a while, you may start a relationship.

This is quite the change from traditional courtship…I don’t say this to be judgmental, and I recognize that this trajectory cannot be applied to everyone—but still, this is a pattern for some people.In my Dating and Communication course my students often talk about how the nature of dating has changed.It seems that, for many young people, dating is more myth than reality.They end up feeling ashamed that they can’t be callous.Q: Do you think men and women are differently affected by the new sexual norms?A: My biggest surprise when I started this project was the answers I heard from young men.