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In part, she says she has this fair city to thank.“Transitioning in New York is like paradise,” she said. You deal with people making comments”—that’s called getting “spooked”—“but I can’t imagine living anywhere else going through what I went through.

Because I’d say for every person that would make a nasty comment, there are 10 people that will tell you that you’re gorgeous and that they love you and that you’re fierce.”Dating can be risky.

Probably one of the hottest transsexuals in the world; it’s probably between her and some Thai boy.”On a recent evening, I met the woman in question, the beautiful Jamie Clayton, at a bar in the Lower East Side.

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She sat upright in her stool, long bare legs draped on top of each other exposing upper reaches of thigh under a gray cloth miniskirt.Now 30 and a makeup artist, she grew up as a boy in San Diego. She used to stare at the hideous beast between her legs and wish it gone.“I think it goes back to the 1970s, to David Bowie. “You have these artists that are these kind of sexy guys, but they’re really identified as straight.They tend to be artists or nightlife people who kind of flourish in the sexually ambiguous New York underground.“After being on them for a couple of months, they made me incredibly emotional at times. Then one day out of nowhere:“I’ll never forget it; I was 23 or 24,” she said.

I’d find myself acting a little cuckoo, and then I’d realize, ‘Oh, my body’s sort of going through a change right now.’”After a subtle boob job, Jamie was soon attracting the men she was looking for: What she would call straight men who have a taste for transsexuals and choose to ignore the extra baggage. “I remember a very specific moment when we were literally in the middle of having sex and he asked me if I was in love with him.

She met a photographer at a club; they dated for two and a half years. I had just broken up with [the photographer] shortly before, and I was like, ‘Why are you asking me that right now?

’ And he said he knew that I liked him a lot, and that we got along really well, and he thought I was falling in love with him. ’ And his response was, ‘I can’t be in love with you.’ And I literally got up and put my clothes on and left and never spoke to him again.“It was in that moment that I learned that I would never put myself in a situation, or that I would try incredibly hard to avoid situations where—because I thought that was really incredibly shitty for someone to say something like that: ‘Oh, I can’t be in love with you.’ Why? Because your parents wouldn’t like it, because your friends wouldn’t like it? It sucked.”April 16, 2003, is another day she’ll never forget. Toby Meltzer of Scottsdale, Ariz., is known across the globe as the man with the steady hand.

But she’s found that these men, more so even than the men she dated pre-op, are frequently unable to live up to the swaggering open-mindedness they claim to possess.“If I have a connection with someone, I’d like to think that they’d be able to respect that connection enough and respect themselves enough to not care about my past—that they would want to see what happens between us,” she said.

“But I have had plenty of instances where guys don’t even give it a chance, or maybe they do give it a bit of a chance, and then they sort of drop off the face of the earth because it freaks them out.”She counts her nine-month fling with my friend Ryan as her most meaningful post-op relationship.“We had chemistry right away. “Then a friend of a friend hipped me to what her situation was.

Her father, Howard, who recently passed away, was a criminal defense attorney. She hardly ever touched it; never once out of pleasure. I don’t think anyone who ever met me would describe me as a man.”In junior high, she won the top awards for math and science, but the prospect of high school terrified her.